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Top Tips.....
Started by
markh
, Oct 17 2008 06:07 PM
20 replies to this topic
#1
Posted 17 October 2008 - 06:07 PM
boys:
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
girls:
A coupe of angry wasps inside a cigar tube makes an inexpensive vibrator
Don't worry about a nice dress for that important first date. All he's interested in is seeing you naked.
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
girls:
A coupe of angry wasps inside a cigar tube makes an inexpensive vibrator
Don't worry about a nice dress for that important first date. All he's interested in is seeing you naked.
#3
Posted 18 October 2008 - 02:35 PM
i'll be 25 years married on 18th of next month, just go look at my picture and learn from what you see, my top tip is........ don't expect to learn from anything i might write on here, if you start reading with that in mind you just might learn something, anything i post has the same basic concept, i approach everything from the same angle, tried and tested, i assume that everyone is equal and that if you believe the world was created in six days then you'll feckin believe anything!!!!!
if you can believe that?
if you can believe that?
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#6
Posted 18 October 2008 - 08:00 PM
well being omnipitant he would no doubt have created the very first council, so the answer to your question, what did he do the following monday? feck all!!!! tho he might have spent a few meenits creating a big fat erse tae sit on?
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#7
Posted 18 October 2008 - 08:25 PM
thats what i thought-fairly blows out the keep holy the sabbath one-if the folowing week was a holiday too.-an your probably right about the big fat arse-he created man in his own image-an i have a fair grip of the sate i`m sittin on.
bend it,and if you can`t bend it,break it.
#8
Posted 18 October 2008 - 09:19 PM
the wife tells me that efter 25yrs i might have expanded everywhere else but i've still got buns of steel, not that i'm in the same league as sabrina williams, judging by the pics of her surfing in the press the other day, that, i would never tire of admiring.
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#12
Posted 22 October 2008 - 06:25 PM
Never lift your hat to a funeral,it might be a polisman or a fish salesman was the old saying John...they missed out polititions and fishery officers though...I wonder why ?? !!!!
Some learn by reading,some ask questions,others observe...but there's always one who has to pee on an electric fence for himself.
#18
Posted 04 November 2008 - 03:22 PM
That Sam,is more commonly known as "getting your own back", but if you happen to be laughing at the time then it's called.......!!
Some learn by reading,some ask questions,others observe...but there's always one who has to pee on an electric fence for himself.
#19
Posted 06 November 2008 - 08:35 PM
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me.
Today, we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
A doctor on breakfast television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started............ So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pece
Today, we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
A doctor on breakfast television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started............ So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pece