0
Joke Section
Started by
Barry McCrindle
, Oct 17 2008 05:28 PM
16 replies to this topic
#1
Posted 17 October 2008 - 05:28 PM
Due to the popularity of this section we will start a weekly section which will be locked every sunday and then a new topic started. Basically due to the popularity newer members can flick through 8 to 10 pages but not when the section grows to 40 or 50 pages plus, so we hope this won't cause to many issues
Thanks again for all the posts
Thanks again for all the posts
I always see both sides of the argument, the one that's wrong and mine.....
#2
Posted 18 October 2008 - 11:37 AM
After the "Amble barras" and the "burst baw" (on another similar site to this...will I get sent to the sin bin if I mention its name ? !!) and the severe case of RSI that I got with 40 odd pages on each one,I think that's an excellent idea Barry.Same goes with the joke page...it looks as if it's going to run and run like a dose of dysentery !!
Some learn by reading,some ask questions,others observe...but there's always one who has to pee on an electric fence for himself.
#3
Posted 18 October 2008 - 01:58 PM
No sin bin for mentioning the other site, couldn't give a flying feck about it or the admin on there, a little freedom of speech and a bit of banter and we have over 1200 posts already, so carry on.....
I always see both sides of the argument, the one that's wrong and mine.....
#4
Posted 18 October 2008 - 04:03 PM
i did a course many years ago during a short sojurn into the world of youth work, ok i jacked and had been spending every day playing snooker and got talked into helping run a youth club which involved going on a course for training, aye right, it was the start of the do gooder 80's, tossers who were into social work and all that crap, my clip them roon the ear and frequent use of the toe of my boot philosophy didn't go down well.
onyweise, part of the course was dividing into groups to carry out a task, with each group having a different style of leadership, one where everything was done by committee so nothing got done, one and excuse the spelling, which had a laisee ferr' leadership, which involved the group leader allowing the group members a great deal of freedom so without proper leadership the task didn't get done, the last, an autocratic leadership where the group leader decided everything and tasks were done his way and no other.
i did have a point, honest, but bloody arsenal and liverpool have scored late goals to win and i got distracted :-\and i've no idea what the point i was going to make is?? if i remember in a month or so i'll post it, no, its gone, complete blank, bloody charlie nicholas, that jeff stelling is great but he's very distracting. think my point had something really clever and inciteful, naw make that insightful to say, mebbe i was right the first time, who knows? ::)could have been pictures admin good, photos admin sh!te
???mmmmmm abernethy biscuits..............................................
onyweise, part of the course was dividing into groups to carry out a task, with each group having a different style of leadership, one where everything was done by committee so nothing got done, one and excuse the spelling, which had a laisee ferr' leadership, which involved the group leader allowing the group members a great deal of freedom so without proper leadership the task didn't get done, the last, an autocratic leadership where the group leader decided everything and tasks were done his way and no other.
i did have a point, honest, but bloody arsenal and liverpool have scored late goals to win and i got distracted :-\and i've no idea what the point i was going to make is?? if i remember in a month or so i'll post it, no, its gone, complete blank, bloody charlie nicholas, that jeff stelling is great but he's very distracting. think my point had something really clever and inciteful, naw make that insightful to say, mebbe i was right the first time, who knows? ::)could have been pictures admin good, photos admin sh!te
???mmmmmm abernethy biscuits..............................................
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#6
Posted 18 October 2008 - 07:02 PM
you could be on to something there, thats worth further consideration, i'll have a wee think about it just as soon as i attend to the hypo i feel coming on, early stages are enjoyable, like being half gassed, i'll go get a wee choccy biccie to keep on standby and when i start thinking "aye these lassies have quite good voices" i'll know i've crossed the line into delirium and get stuck into the biccie, something to do with the joke section?, certainly rings a bell?
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#7
Posted 18 October 2008 - 07:47 PM
Quote
you could be on to something there, thats worth further consideration, i'll have a wee think about it just as soon as i attend to the hypo i feel coming on, early stages are enjoyable, like being half gassed, i'll go get a wee choccy biccie to keep on standby and when i start thinking "aye these lassies have quite good voices" i'll know i've crossed the line into delirium and get stuck into the biccie, something to do with the joke section?, certainly rings a bell?
I've heard the early hypo stages can be interesting. Wor Lass just gans loopy, when she starts to go hypo. She was like a whirling dervish on one occasion and completely trashed the kitchen
Usually just hand her a bottle of lucozade and go and hide in the shed for half an hour nowadays
#8
Posted 18 October 2008 - 09:00 PM
the lucozade glucose tablets work better, the bottled stuff coats the throat and lees ye a bit boaky, a couple of the tablets which just melt in your mouth work wonders, brand new within five minutes, but i ate the choccy biccies just in case, just in case anybody else ate them and i never got one, that is my story and i'm sticking to it. its such a pity i couldn't join wills and harry on the bike trip across africa, i'd so been looking forward to it too.
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#9
Posted 05 November 2008 - 10:01 AM
Mary, a shy Irish virgin was discussing her up coming marriage to Paddy, after mass last Sunday morning to the local parish priest. "Father, Paddy dropped his trousers last night, he has a big yoke there that I never saw before" the priest says "Sure dats only his penis Mary" and Mary continues "But there is a big purple knob on it" and the priest answers, "yes Mary thats only the head of Paddys penis" and Mary says "yes father, but back from the head of his penis father, there are 2 roundy white things, about 18 inches away from the head of his penis father, that I never saw before, what are they for?" and the priest turns round and says to her "Mary, I hope to God for your sake love, that they are the cheeks of his arse"!!!!!
We are Ireland No 1 Ship and Fishing Vessel Agents!!
#10
Posted 05 November 2008 - 10:03 AM
Hey, you bunch of washed up smelly fishermen, who put me in as a fishery officer???? I bet that bearded dodgy painter from Donegal did that...............I AM NOT A FISHERY OFFICER I AM A SHIP AGENT AND MARINE SURVEYOR, Mr Baird, you are a bad man, and Im gonna tell the taxman on you............
We are Ireland No 1 Ship and Fishing Vessel Agents!!
#11
Posted 05 November 2008 - 10:14 AM
you'll have by now noticed that since you have posted twice you are no longer a FO thats what the title is there for, to encourage you to post, and i must say thats the worst insult i've ever read on this or any other site, you should be ashamed of yourself making a threat like that!!!! you are one to be watched, shame shame shame!!!!!!!!
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#14
Posted 05 November 2008 - 07:48 PM
aye you could work at one of the research labs or on one of the boats!!!! bet that costs more in a year to run than the whole decom fund put together, judging by the positions i've seen advertised salaries of over £38,000, not that i'd turn one down, even with a bad back!!!!!!!! bit of an in joke, some might get it?
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#17
Posted 06 November 2008 - 04:23 PM
Good day Mr Baird, its not easy rag me, I am the most easy going man you'll find! I never confiscated anything from anybody (except me wifes kacks from her hips) yum yum. Mr Gallagher, AKA d restless wave, take loads of no notice of that Bairdy guy, he is out to cause mischief and general divilment! SO when are either of you 2 hoors gonna come down to Killybegs to say hello???? Lunch is on me................ Or is my kind allowed up to the very beatiful Burtonport, or Letterkenny??? Will I bring you a feed of fresh fish, or will I be bringing a feed away with me??
AS I am here we may aswell have an oul joke:
Little boy gets lost in Tescos, security guard finds him crying and says " hey little guy, dont be crying, calm down now, so whats up, have you lost your mummy?" and the little guy sniffling away on his sleeve says "yes I have and I am very upset" so the security guard says "ok,don't worry, we will find your mummy, can you tell me, whats she like?" and the young lad says " she likes big cocks and bacardi breezers"....................
Paddy is in a nightclub havin a ball, he meets this doll and says to her "hey darling, fancy coming home with me for a shag?" so she says "Im on my menstrual cycle" so Paddy replies "Excellent, Im on me scooter, I'll follow you home"................
AS I am here we may aswell have an oul joke:
Little boy gets lost in Tescos, security guard finds him crying and says " hey little guy, dont be crying, calm down now, so whats up, have you lost your mummy?" and the little guy sniffling away on his sleeve says "yes I have and I am very upset" so the security guard says "ok,don't worry, we will find your mummy, can you tell me, whats she like?" and the young lad says " she likes big cocks and bacardi breezers"....................
Paddy is in a nightclub havin a ball, he meets this doll and says to her "hey darling, fancy coming home with me for a shag?" so she says "Im on my menstrual cycle" so Paddy replies "Excellent, Im on me scooter, I'll follow you home"................
We are Ireland No 1 Ship and Fishing Vessel Agents!!