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Joke Of The Week, Week 14......


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#1 Barry McCrindle

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Posted 12 January 2009 - 09:40 AM

Dig out the old ones, the new ones or the nicked up ones.......
I always see both sides of the argument, the one that's wrong and mine.....

#2 Barry McCrindle

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Posted 12 January 2009 - 11:36 AM

some dubious names
I always see both sides of the argument, the one that's wrong and mine.....

#3 Barry McCrindle

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Posted 12 January 2009 - 11:37 AM

more dubious stuff
I always see both sides of the argument, the one that's wrong and mine.....

#4 Barry McCrindle

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Posted 12 January 2009 - 11:40 AM

and some more
I always see both sides of the argument, the one that's wrong and mine.....

#5 Adoration II

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Posted 14 January 2009 - 11:30 AM

got a new car stereo voice activated i shout country it plays dolly parton i shout rock it plays guns and roses  was in town other day and some little shegite ran in front of me i shouted feckin kids it played gary glitter
Mr Richard JohnstonEEEEEEEEE Jnr

Sure its a grand oul team ti play for

#6 markh

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Posted 14 January 2009 - 02:04 PM

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car.

There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.

It was, and she said to her husband, 'It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?'

He says, 'O. K., Get in the car with it.'

'Where shall I put it to get it warm?'

He says, 'Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there.

'But what about the smell?'

'Just hold its little nose.'

#7 johntar tt10

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Posted 14 January 2009 - 06:04 PM

FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO 10 PEOPLE.







And you will get..........................








Fcuk all,





Thats right fcuk all..........................










You won't get good luck....................................












Or a nice surprise..........................................











Just fcuk all.....................................











Its true.............................











It works........................................











I sent it..............................











I got fcuk all.........................













Don't break the chain...................

#8 johntar tt10

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Posted 14 January 2009 - 06:10 PM

Woman stands in front of hubbie bollock naked.....................................

What do you like best? she asks him.........................

My beautiful body........................

Or my fabulous titties.......................

Hubby replies...............................

Your fcuking sense of humour !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#9 johntar tt10

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Posted 14 January 2009 - 06:13 PM

Has anyone heard of the new drug doctors are giving Depressed Lesbians?...............................





They say it works wonders.............................






Its called Trycockagain...........................

#10 michaelb

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Posted 14 January 2009 - 10:58 PM

A little brown paper bag goes to the doctors,"im not well"he says.Doc tears a bit off him for tests.A week later he goes back for the results.Doc says to him"Im afraid u,ve got Aids!"How the fuck can i have Aids,im only a little paper bag"doc says"your mum or dad must have been a carrier"!.

#11 michaelb

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Posted 15 January 2009 - 02:08 PM

Whats yellow and blue with a really tight a***hole at one end?













An Aldi bag

#12 michaelb

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Posted 15 January 2009 - 02:16 PM

A bloke is sunbatheing with nothing but a hat covering his c**k.
Two women walk past one says"If you were a gentleman you would raise your hat to a lady".
Bloke replies "If you wernt so effing ugly the hat would raise itself".

#13 michaelb

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Posted 15 January 2009 - 02:27 PM

See Prince Harry is in trouble for calling his fellow soldier a P**i

Effing brave comeing from a Ginger German who,s mother f**ked off with a muslim.




Also Prince Philip is said to be ashamed and dissapointed at his grandsons behavior.
He cant believe he called the little P**i his friend.

#14 markh

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Posted 16 January 2009 - 10:55 PM

George W.Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him.



'I don't know what to do here' says the Devil. 'You're on my list but I have no room for you! You definitely have to stay here though, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go and you can take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves.'




George reluctantly agreed.




The devil opened the first room. In there was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept resurfacing over and over, gasping for air, such was his fate in hell.




'No!' George said, 'I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long.'




The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time, and more rocks appeared.




'No! I've got this problem with my back. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!' commented George.




The devil then opened the third door. In it was Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms and legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best!




George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, 'Yeah, I could handle this!'




The devil smiled and said ....'Monica, you're free to go!'

#15 Barry McCrindle

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Posted 17 January 2009 - 10:13 AM

Fanny Fishin

A young man walking along the pier sees an
old man with his shoes off, his trousers rolled up,
legs dangling in the water & fishing with an imaginary rod.

Puzzled, the young man asks "wot u up to mate?"
Old man replies "Fishing for fannys"
"Sounds good" says the young man "Can I have a go?"
"Of course you can - pull up a pew, son"

The young man sits down, casts out an imaginary rod & says,
"So, how many fannys have you caught so far?"
Old man replies "You're the 3rd this morning!"....
I always see both sides of the argument, the one that's wrong and mine.....

#16 Barry McCrindle

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Posted 17 January 2009 - 08:33 PM

Man buys his wife a new car
She turns round and says she doesn't like it
and wants something that does 0-200 in 3 secs
The husband rushes out and changes it for a set of bathroom scales
Comes in the door and says, now stand on that you fat bitch!
I always see both sides of the argument, the one that's wrong and mine.....