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Morris (Quiet Waters)
Started by
Sweltered
, Jan 03 2009 11:18 PM
84 replies to this topic
#61
young ronnie
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Deckie
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Posted 14 January 2009 - 11:20 PM
Aye Willie,a good soldier always keeps his weapon in tip top order and his helmet polished,always ready for action at a moments notice
Some learn by reading,some ask questions,others observe...but there's always one who has to pee on an electric fence for himself.
#62
Sweltered
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Deckie
Posted 15 January 2009 - 01:17 PM
Spoke to himself this morning, and he's in good trim. I mentioned some of the comments on here, and asked him to clarify some things.
Firstly, the bed baths are not performed by a male nurse, or a Hattie Jacques look-alike..
Secondly, he got quite animated when I asked about the prospective Tory candidate for Buchan.."a turncoat, nuthin but a turncoat"
He was delighted with the cards he got, but doesn't know when he'll have access to a computer, it will probably be a while yet as he is still got a long way to go.
He was at his lunch when I called, "it's supposed to be Haddock" he claimed that they had "boiled it for hours out of spite". Also while I was talking to him, a Dr came by and said that a specialist would come and see him "before lunch". The reply the Dr got was "where is he, can you not see the fork in my hand". I nearly choked on my coffee at the thought of the look on the Docs face..
Firstly, the bed baths are not performed by a male nurse, or a Hattie Jacques look-alike..
Secondly, he got quite animated when I asked about the prospective Tory candidate for Buchan.."a turncoat, nuthin but a turncoat"
He was delighted with the cards he got, but doesn't know when he'll have access to a computer, it will probably be a while yet as he is still got a long way to go.
He was at his lunch when I called, "it's supposed to be Haddock" he claimed that they had "boiled it for hours out of spite". Also while I was talking to him, a Dr came by and said that a specialist would come and see him "before lunch". The reply the Dr got was "where is he, can you not see the fork in my hand". I nearly choked on my coffee at the thought of the look on the Docs face..
"Hanging is the outlaw's path to glory and much too good for the likes of you."
#63
Jammy
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happy new year to all
- LocationDUNURE
Posted 15 January 2009 - 01:21 PM
am sure this goes for all the members to say we are asking after him alan and if he is like that just now he must be near back to full health giving out his usual satirical wit to anybody in the near area
#65
quiet waters
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Deckie
- Locationbetween the hills and the high water mark.
Posted 23 January 2009 - 04:12 PM
they say you canna keep a good man down, but until i can find one and have a go at sittin on his heid you'll have to put up with me instead.
for the record, got transferred to campbeltown hospital today arriving at 2.20pm, by 3.10pm i had taken a stroll to other end of hospital to visit my mother and talked the doctor into discharging me, the wife was going to give me a row but i told her the doc had already let me off (little rocket joke). home in my ain chair by 3.30pm, pretended to read paper for ten minutes before deleting hunners of spam email.
i'll read the smartarse comments when i've time and i'll get every last one, all i'll say is its good to be home, (not as good as the ICU at bedbath time (six nurses, no hattie jacquex types, not by a long long way) but a good second best.
for the record, got transferred to campbeltown hospital today arriving at 2.20pm, by 3.10pm i had taken a stroll to other end of hospital to visit my mother and talked the doctor into discharging me, the wife was going to give me a row but i told her the doc had already let me off (little rocket joke). home in my ain chair by 3.30pm, pretended to read paper for ten minutes before deleting hunners of spam email.
i'll read the smartarse comments when i've time and i'll get every last one, all i'll say is its good to be home, (not as good as the ICU at bedbath time (six nurses, no hattie jacquex types, not by a long long way) but a good second best.
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#70
markh
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Skipper
Posted 23 January 2009 - 07:16 PM
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no hattie jacquex types,
well we wasted our money there then, had a whip round to buy you a pressie, but it was decided that the£1.47 raised would be given to the nhs on request they find an ex fish wife/hattie jacques clone, with no teeth, hands like shovels and an unhealthy obsession with rectal thermometers
welcome home!
#72
young ronnie
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Deckie
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Posted 23 January 2009 - 07:42 PM
That's the peace the neighbourhood's had for the past few weeks well and truly shattered now!! Welcome back young man,give that keyboard hell !!! (wonder if I'll get a refund fae Tesco on that sympathy card I bought ??)
Some learn by reading,some ask questions,others observe...but there's always one who has to pee on an electric fence for himself.
#73
markh
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Skipper
Posted 23 January 2009 - 07:44 PM
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That's the peace the neighbourhood's had for the past few weeks well and truly shattered now!! Welcome back young man,give that keyboard hell !!! (wonder if I'll get a refund fae Tesco on that sympathy card I bought ??)
you know what they say about sympathy - falls between 5hit and syphallis n the dictionary
yer welcome back anyway!
#80
quiet waters
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Deckie
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Posted 24 January 2009 - 10:36 PM
guilty as charged, no way i was missing the superbowl, missed the entire playoffs and the man utd V chelsea game so i had enough and spent all week complaining so they'd send me back to the toon instead of back to the southern where they wanted to send me for another week, took me thirty mins to get sent home when i got here and that included having a cup of coffee, no fags tho, haven't had one since xmas day, saved £300 already, might buy 300 lottery tickets to see if i win enough to spend a month in florida and another in brisbane to recouperate, or, i might just sit on my arse for a week or two till i can walk the length of myself without having to stop to get my breath back.
as for Mr. Marr, all i'll say about the card he sent is that every single nurse that saw it told me that he must know me very well as it seemed like a pretty close description of me, i'm including all my visitors in that too, including my wife!!! it did cheer me up no end, as did all the cards i recieved, lightened the mood, especially when the wife tells you she'd picked out your 1968 man utd european cup shirt to have to planted in, she did wait till i got home first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i doublechecked and it wasn't among the clothes i had in hospital so i don't think she was serious? still next time i want to lose three stone i'll think of a better way to do it.
as for Mr. Marr, all i'll say about the card he sent is that every single nurse that saw it told me that he must know me very well as it seemed like a pretty close description of me, i'm including all my visitors in that too, including my wife!!! it did cheer me up no end, as did all the cards i recieved, lightened the mood, especially when the wife tells you she'd picked out your 1968 man utd european cup shirt to have to planted in, she did wait till i got home first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i doublechecked and it wasn't among the clothes i had in hospital so i don't think she was serious? still next time i want to lose three stone i'll think of a better way to do it.
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
#81
markh
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Skipper
Posted 24 January 2009 - 10:50 PM
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still next time i want to lose three stone i'll think of a better way to do it.
an amputation would do it!
#84
quiet waters
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Deckie
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Posted 26 January 2009 - 07:31 AM
don't think for one minute i've been slacking, the doctors were getting plenty stick the last two weeks, the consultant in the southern Mr. Murdoch would never give me a straight answer so i called him PC Murdoch instead of doctor every day, he just sent me to the western to get rid of me, he came in one day to see me while i was on the phone with sweltered, complaining about the "haddock" that they'd served me for lunch that was never in the same hemisphere as a scottish haddie, we were also discussing the political aspirations of a certain ersehole from the "deadliest fushin" program or whatever its called? "will jimmy lose his nose up the devil's hole? will david cameron even know who he is? watch next week when we'll try and make a mundane ordinary job look like its really dangerous, will kevin get a repetative strain injury from tailing wee pr'ans? will the skepper dislocate his tongue trying to pronounce the wurd lang, gus, steens?
anyways, PC murdoch was amazed that i was sitting up in bed discussing politics, "who are you speaking to?" he asked, "my youngest brother" i replied, "oh, really and do you usually discuss such topics on the phone? where is he calling from?" "clearwater in florida" says i, he just walked off shaking his head and i never saw him again!!!!!
anyways, PC murdoch was amazed that i was sitting up in bed discussing politics, "who are you speaking to?" he asked, "my youngest brother" i replied, "oh, really and do you usually discuss such topics on the phone? where is he calling from?" "clearwater in florida" says i, he just walked off shaking his head and i never saw him again!!!!!
And their teeth will be blunted like lions and they will be cast away on whirlwinds and such!!!!
Total double take and check if id slept in till april 1st when I saw FN last week !!!: 
: Glad to see you back and on the mend QW
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