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[bitter end]

A woman goes to the Doctor in Glasgow, worried about her husband’s
temper and threatening manner.

The Doc asks: "What's the problem, Janet?

The woman says: "Weeell Doctor Cameron, I dinae know what to do. Every
time ma hubbie comes home pished, he threatens to slap me aroon'."

The Doctor says: "Aye, well... I have a real good cure for that. When
your husband arrives home intoxicated, just take a wee glass of water
and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't
swallow it until he goes to bed and is sound asleep."

Two weeks later she comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
She says: "Doctor that was  effin brilliant! Evrae time ma hubbie came
home pished, I swished with water. I swished an' swished, and he
didnae touch me even once!

Tell me Doc....wha's the secret? How's the water do that?"

The Doctor says: "Janet hen, it's really Nae big secret. The water
does bugger all…it's keeping your mouth   fk'n shut that does the trick